Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Yarn Flash

We interrupt this regularly scheduled week of intense study and finals for a Yarn Flash!

But first I want to thank all of you for your words of support and encouragement from my last post. Every time I read those comments I start to cry again =) you guys are just the best and I really appreciate all of you. Step by step by baby step.

NOW... back to the yarn flash. Good news and bad news. Bad news 1st. One of our LYS's (Local Yarn Shops - for the non knitting reader) is sadly going out of business. Not for lack of business, but because the proprietor is moving away, far far away. *sob* Good news? YARN SALE! Everything (and that includes needles and stuff) is 30% off. So, on Saturday, I told my brother, the one that knits (naturally) about the sale, and he said, "Let's GO!" and I said, "Sure, I have no money, but sure." And he said, "I have a little money, so let's go." and I said, "Coooool!" Then we went out to eat, since shopping hungry is bad, even if it isn't because you buy too much food at the yarn shop. Personally, if I am hungry I can't make good yarn decisions, or any decisions, actually, and then I just leave feeling more hungry. (but I digress) Then we went and petted mass quantities of yarny wonderfulness, and I came home with some of it. heheeeee

3 skeins of this one

2 skeins of this one

And since I haven't played with new yarn in a long long time, I just kept taking pictures of it.



separately again
(can you tell I wish I took pics as good as b r o o k l y n t w e e d?)

and in the bag with the address of the aforementioned LYS in case any of you find yourselves in Texas via vacation or you live here and I don't know you read my blog or you have technology from Star Trek. (Yes, please beam me to the yarn shop, Scotty, PLEASE!)
Isn't that a GREAT logo?

I kinda want to make a sweaterly sort of thing, but it probably isn't enough. Especially since short sleeved sweater type garments don't work so good here. It's either way too freaking hot to think about sweaters or you need the real deal when you walk out into cold that cuts you to the bone. Not much of an in-between around here. In fact, once upon a time I made a sweater vest (that I never modeled because it got hot and then I gained 30 pounds - HA! That'll teach me) or did I gain 30 pounds and then it got hot? Don't remember. Anyway... what to do? HEY I know, go back next week after I con some money out of someone and get yet ANOTHER color (because I pretty much cleaned them out of these two) and stripe myself into a sweater! YES - bwa ha ha HHHAAA - my evil plan is beginning to take shape.

And now, to distract anyone who can put a stop to this evil plan with cute cute pictures of farm animals. I still say they are GOATS, because sheep at this time of year should be totally fleeced out, right?

This ^ little guy is my favorite

Sorry about the pictures through the fence thing, but if you get out of the car, they all run away. Maybe I should go bearing gifts of carrots next time, that always works with horses. hmmmmm

I leave you with the latest installment of glorious sunset shots.

I kept on taking pictures of this sunset, too, I love it when you get 3 different sets of colors from one short event. From yellow, to orange, to red - I love my new camera =)

PS - I know I haven't been very good at the blogging lately, school and the whole shift in the direction of life sort of commandeered my brain for the last few weeks. I would LIKE to say that I am going to do better in the coming weeks, but that is unlikely. You see, next mod is what they call "Clinical" which means LOADS of reading every night, preparing and studying for and taking practice tests for the thing they call the Emblex, which is the test you take to get your license in this state (that covers you for several other states as well, which is a major plus). Anyway, this particular test is NOT easy, there are tons of trick questions, and those "critical thinking questions" they've been warning us about. And questions like: "If you client comes in and their gate is such that the left foot is turned laterally and everted, which muscle is like in a state of contraction or spasm." And even though I just made up that question, I still don't know the answer for sure, even though I want to say something like, "Tibialis Anterior". (that may be right, actually, but I don't know for sure) Basically lots and lots of Kinesiology, which has been my most challenging subject, mostly because it's very specific information that you just have to find a way to memorize. In fact, it is only NOW starting to make sense to me and I've been doing it since September. SO... if you don't hear from me for the next two months, it's probably because forming a sentence is just TOO much for me. Well, maybe I can say something like: "Still alive and kicking please stand by and don't unsubscribe just yet, pretty soon I'll have stories to tell, and maybe there will be knitting again someday." =)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Another Episode of How My Mind Spins

Don't you just hate it when you hit those blogging dry spells? Yeah, me too. I think about blogging and then just say - hmmm.... what to say? The same stuff from last time. Still need to take some pictures, still doing good in school - except for one Kinesiology quiz that I totally tanked because my brain was too taken up with thinking about life changing decisions that I completely forgot to study. We start finals again next week. (see same stuff)

I WAS going to take some adorable pictures yesterday, but found my batteries dead. (I really could nearly swear that I JUST put in new batteries, too, hmmm weird) You see near my mom's house there is a little pasture with goats or sheep in it and they all have these tiny little babies that are so cute you can cry. I think they are goats, but since there is some argument amongst my family as to what they are, now I'm doubting myself. lol Their faces are sorta sheepy but I don't see that they have fleece... so I'm confused. Anyway, I'll get pictures of them soonish and you can all decide for yourself as to their genus and species. (all two of you that still read this - hahahaha)

So... wanna know what the heck was so disturbing that I could forget to study for a quiz? Well, here goes, so, it was a Wednesday night. I finally signed a certain paper that was supposed to get things pretty much rolling as to finalizing the divorce, and was met with. "So... what do you think about this, should we really do this or try again to work stuff out?" (Enter panic attack and mass confusion in my head) Yeah, I don't do so good with sudden direction changes out of the clear blue sky, so I cried for, oh probably a week. He's saying how he knows he was this and that and how neglected I was and lots of other stuff too personal to talk about out here in cyber space. There are loads of things he wants to work on, and all these ways he says he will reform, and help me and treat me the way I need etc etc... And of course I'm bawling like a wet baby for SO many reasons. I'm scared either way, honestly, scared to jump out into the world of single motherhood and such, and scared to chance staying. I sorta felt like I had to make a decision of YES or NO pretty fast, and I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. So I cried and fretted and had a stomach ache and called my therapist for an emergency consult. Ah man, I was a mess, until I figured out that I could say, "I can't decide this just based on the stuff you've said, so, I'm willing to give you time to make good on all the things you've said." What a relief that was! (then I tanked my quiz the same day - blah) So... that's were I am right now, taking it SO slow, which is pretty much opposite my personality, since I usually know exactly what I want and I go for it, but I'm not so much with the confidence right now. At least I can say I don't feel so scared.

So we went on a date on Saturday, and that's sorta where we are starting from. Being friends is easy, we've been that and we get along okay when there's no pressure or expectations and things like that. Now the expectations are coming back into play we'll see how it goes. I'm not jumping into anything before I know what is what. I think part of what had me reeling so much was that I had pretty much made peace with the thought that he never really wanted me the way a guy should want someone they marry - I certainly wasn't treated that way, and I bear some responsibility for letting that happen, obviously when you aren't being treated right you are supposed to say, "This isn't okay, I deserve better and I can find that somewhere else if you don't step up." That's where I should have been in the courtship phase. Instead, that's where I got much later - it's a good place to be when you are courting, but not so nice once you've been married 12 years. Anyway, so once he started talking to me about how much he loves me and wants to treat me how I deserve now and all that stuff, it was very confusing. In one way, it was nice to hear (finally) and in another way, I was thinking "why now?" Honestly, if you had asked me if reconciliation was an option, I would have laughed and said, "NO way!" I guess it's another lesson in: You just don't ever really know how you will react in any given situation until you are IN that situation. (how many times do I have to learn that?)

You want to know what my therapist said? lol - "Well the good thing about this is, you have his attention, and you can train him how to treat you." and "If you DO get through this and work it out, it's possible to be happier than you ever were." and "I prefer to err on the side of preserving the marriage." and "Guys are like puppies, you reward them for the good behavior and smack them on the nose when they are stupid." - I really love that guy, lol (in a healthy way of course - ha) - We'll see how it goes.