Evidence That I Still Knit

Exhibit A - One nearly complete pair of socks

Well, there's no Exhibit B, so this will have to do. I have pretty much always been a one project knitter, and I guess that hasn't changed. Hey there's one thing about me that is the same. I know it's weird in the knitting community not to have dozens of projects on the needles at once, but the reality of that just stresses me out. (not sure why)

I'm getting in the habit of avoiding things that stress me out, for obvious reasons. lol None of us in here or out there need any sort of repeat of the events in the Spring (or those of the Winter for that matter) HEY! I got through a whole SEASON without freaking out (or whatever they call it in the professional community) I called it spinning out before, that's a pretty good description. Every day I think about some aspect of that process and wonder.... "Why did I think I was ok?" Funny how that works. When you are, well, I should say, when I am, in the throes or grip of the spinning, I feel fine. I think that's what makes it scary because I can't tell I'm off, even though everyone else can. A few days before I totally hit the fan, someone had told my husband to get me help like NOW. (I bet he wishes he had)

At least now, I don't feel ok, I do feel off, and I am aware of the weirdness within. (for lack of a better explanation) I shouldn't say, I don't feel ok, I am feeling better than I have. I can just tell I'm no where near finished healing. I can tell because I'm still really tired and I still need more sleep than I can get in 8 hours at night. My motivation is low, but I can manage the basics. Even the basics were a great challenge when I was really low. I'm back to auto pilot on most of the basics, which feels better. My sister suggested something helpful yesterday. Basically, just write down one or two things you want to accomplish that day, and then when you do them, you can see what you accomplished. I didn't write it down yet, but I did do the 2 things I was wanting to accomplish, so that feels better, anyway.

And now, I have a little less than an hour before the house starts to fill up grade schoolers. All three of them, I bring home my niece on Thursdays to play with my daughter. SO... I'm going to catch a little cat nap in preparation =)

I Totally Caved

Caved in to peer pressure. I'm not proud, but I was tired of fighting it. Everyone else is doing it. And somewhere in the distance I hear a voice say, "Well if everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you do it, too?" I guess the answer to that is... "It depends on what's over that cliff." I actually HAVE jumped off a cliff before, into a coldly delicious mountain lake, in the heat of Summer. Also, if you think about it, if EVERYONE was jumping over a cliff, that would include the person asking me the loaded question and if I was the only person on Earth after everyone had jumped off a cliff... how lonely would that be? So I'd probably go ahead and jump. Of course the thing that I caved about this time has nothing to do with cliffs. I couldn't take it anymore, all the chatter and links about Ravelry. I AM determined not to go TOO overboard when I EVENTUALLY get in, but, I would like to be able to see the stuff that people have posted in there. Like when they say, "Check out this FO in Ravelry!" So if only to do that....? I now hear a faint voice saying, "Yeah, RIGHT! You wish you could use it only for that, you'll be a full blown Ravelry Head in no time, dearie."

Well, I don't really have to worry about that any time soon - check out my stats! lol

• You signed up on Today
• You are #35649 on the list.
• 18291 people are ahead of you in line.
• 1 people are behind you in line.
• 48% of the list has been invited so far

Yep, over EIGHTEEN THOUSAND fiber fiends ahead of me. That is a pretty big number. I wonder how many are already in there? I wonder what the total number of knitters/crocheters would look like? Just in the time it's taken me to type this, there are now 4 people behind me in line. WOW - I wasn't the last lemming after all. (and before anyone gets all technical with me about lemmings - please don't, I have a headache)

I have no photographic evidence, but I'm quickly getting close to the toe on my second sock. Another interesting development. It seems I no longer dread the heel flap and picking up the gusset stitches. Maybe that means I'm a grown up sock knitter! I had tried to switch to short row heels, but it just doesn't work for my deep foot. Now I need to try the reverse heel flap thing on a toe up sock. But I'll save that endeavor for another time.

Hey! Anyone else excited about Socktoberfest? Yippeee Skippeee! I can't believe this will already be the 3rd one. Sheesh! The very first Socktoberfest spurred me on to knit socks for real, because I was scared to try them. Now they are like the easiest projects ever. I wonder if there are going to be new buttons this year?

....and now there are 8 people behind me in line, hehehehe. The other number isn't going down at the same rate, though!

OH yeah, another nerdy thing I've been doing lately. Watching my stats. I love seeing the different countries that pop up. I was going to post a pic of the breakdown of those stats, but my camera needs a charge. Oh well.

....and now 21! Wow there are lots of us, aren't there?

O Canada!

It's so weird, everywhere I turn these days I'm seeing Canada. I had half ways lazy weekend that felt wonderful. So I watched a bunch of movies, random stuff, whatever was on. The movies on Saturday were Canadian movies. Then I watched a DVD, and it was made in Canada, too. Tonight, I watched one, that was admittedly terrible and too long, but the main characters end up in Nova Scotia. So wherever I turn it's Toronto, Vancouver, Nova Scotia and now... Sunnydale. Why Sunnydale? I just found out that my great grandmother was born there. I'm CANADIAN! hahaha sorta, right?

The past couple of years I've been feeling this odd pull, it's almost painful. I really want to go to Canada. I wish it was possible in the near future, but it just isn't. I had even asked my dad if any of his people came from Canada, because it really seemed like I missed it somehow. I should have asked my mom about her people I guess, of course she may not even know it. This particular grandmother was an awesome knitter, too. So I am descended from a (Irish) Canadian KNITTER! The great granddad was from Minnesota, which is where I, and nearly all my relatives, were born.

It may be silly, but it's such a relief to me for some reason. I guess I've been mentally searching for an explanation of why I have such a thing for Canada (and Canadians) since I first asked that question. (I'm weird like that, I keep telling myself to stop asking so many questions, but it's not working) Anyway, I just wanted to share that with y'all because it made me so giddy! =)

PS - I'm just a few rounds from the heel flap on sock number 2, I should have an update on it pretty quickly. The pooling is doing basically the same thing, except in the other direction. I'm not sure how I managed that on accident, unless I wound the first ball from the wrong side of the skein. That must be what happened. I balled some of the skein on my cruise, and the bit of skein I had left, I must have wound from the end of the skein instead of winding from the piece I left off. (See there I go asking questions that I have to also answer.) Anyway, so far so good. And I have felt SO good the last couple of days that I nearly recognize myself! I actually FELT like cleaning yesterday instead of having to totally force myself to do it. It may not sound like much, but if you had seen me last week.... you'd know what a difference that is! yaay!

PPS - If I wasn't already married, I'd marry Canada.

One Down One Started

I finally sat down and did the toe and kitchener! (about a week or so, ago) I'm really happy with the fit and mostly happy with how it looks. (in spite of the odd pooling thing it did) I'm hoping that the second sock looks something like the first =) If not, it doesn't matter that much.

I've started the second sock, I'm about 4 rounds into the cuff. It took me until yesterday to start it. The idea of sitting in a waiting room can make even the most stubborn case of SSS take a back seat.

I was looking at it the other day and I noticed that the ribbing on the inside of the sock looks much nicer than the ribbing on the outside. Does this mean I have tighter tension on my purl stitches than I do on my knit stitches? VERY interesting. Not interesting enough to make me purl every round, but interesting nonetheless.

I didn't have much left in the ball I was using, this is all there was left. Of course I have about 3 more balls, because I made a separate ball every time there was a knot, so that I would know how much yarn there was between breaks. No false sense of security.

As for me and my continuing saga of downs and further down, I had a down week last week, but I seem to be coming out of this week. It sort of feels like I'm climbing a hill. I can only get about halfway up the hill, before sliding back down. I can't seem to top the hill to get past whatever this obstacle is. So that's what I'm working towards now. I could use some positive vibes or whatever you call it. =) I know it really helps. Thanks everyone!

Hopefully I'll have some progress to show in a day or two.