Yarn Flash

We interrupt this regularly scheduled week of intense study and finals for a Yarn Flash!

But first I want to thank all of you for your words of support and encouragement from my last post. Every time I read those comments I start to cry again =) you guys are just the best and I really appreciate all of you. Step by step by baby step.

NOW... back to the yarn flash. Good news and bad news. Bad news 1st. One of our LYS's (Local Yarn Shops - for the non knitting reader) is sadly going out of business. Not for lack of business, but because the proprietor is moving away, far far away. *sob* Good news? YARN SALE! Everything (and that includes needles and stuff) is 30% off. So, on Saturday, I told my brother, the one that knits (naturally) about the sale, and he said, "Let's GO!" and I said, "Sure, I have no money, but sure." And he said, "I have a little money, so let's go." and I said, "Coooool!" Then we went out to eat, since shopping hungry is bad, even if it isn't because you buy too much food at the yarn shop. Personally, if I am hungry I can't make good yarn decisions, or any decisions, actually, and then I just leave feeling more hungry. (but I digress) Then we went and petted mass quantities of yarny wonderfulness, and I came home with some of it. heheeeee

3 skeins of this one

2 skeins of this one

And since I haven't played with new yarn in a long long time, I just kept taking pictures of it.

Separately,

together,

separately again
(can you tell I wish I took pics as good as b r o o k l y n t w e e d?)

and in the bag with the address of the aforementioned LYS in case any of you find yourselves in Texas via vacation or you live here and I don't know you read my blog or you have technology from Star Trek. (Yes, please beam me to the yarn shop, Scotty, PLEASE!)

Isn't that a GREAT logo?

I kinda want to make a sweaterly sort of thing, but it probably isn't enough. Especially since short sleeved sweater type garments don't work so good here. It's either way too freaking hot to think about sweaters or you need the real deal when you walk out into cold that cuts you to the bone. Not much of an in-between around here. In fact, once upon a time I made a sweater vest (that I never modeled because it got hot and then I gained 30 pounds - HA! That'll teach me) or did I gain 30 pounds and then it got hot? Don't remember. Anyway... what to do? HEY I know, go back next week after I con some money out of someone and get yet ANOTHER color (because I pretty much cleaned them out of these two) and stripe myself into a sweater! YES - bwa ha ha HHHAAA - my evil plan is beginning to take shape.

And now, to distract anyone who can put a stop to this evil plan with cute cute pictures of farm animals. I still say they are GOATS, because sheep at this time of year should be totally fleeced out, right?

This ^ little guy is my favorite

Sorry about the pictures through the fence thing, but if you get out of the car, they all run away. Maybe I should go bearing gifts of carrots next time, that always works with horses. hmmmmm

I leave you with the latest installment of glorious sunset shots.

I kept on taking pictures of this sunset, too, I love it when you get 3 different sets of colors from one short event. From yellow, to orange, to red - I love my new camera =)

PS - I know I haven't been very good at the blogging lately, school and the whole shift in the direction of life sort of commandeered my brain for the last few weeks. I would LIKE to say that I am going to do better in the coming weeks, but that is unlikely. You see, next mod is what they call "Clinical" which means LOADS of reading every night, preparing and studying for and taking practice tests for the thing they call the Emblex, which is the test you take to get your license in this state (that covers you for several other states as well, which is a major plus). Anyway, this particular test is NOT easy, there are tons of trick questions, and those "critical thinking questions" they've been warning us about. And questions like: "If you client comes in and their gate is such that the left foot is turned laterally and everted, which muscle is like in a state of contraction or spasm." And even though I just made up that question, I still don't know the answer for sure, even though I want to say something like, "Tibialis Anterior". (that may be right, actually, but I don't know for sure) Basically lots and lots of Kinesiology, which has been my most challenging subject, mostly because it's very specific information that you just have to find a way to memorize. In fact, it is only NOW starting to make sense to me and I've been doing it since September. SO... if you don't hear from me for the next two months, it's probably because forming a sentence is just TOO much for me. Well, maybe I can say something like: "Still alive and kicking please stand by and don't unsubscribe just yet, pretty soon I'll have stories to tell, and maybe there will be knitting again someday." =)

Another Episode of How My Mind Spins

Don't you just hate it when you hit those blogging dry spells? Yeah, me too. I think about blogging and then just say - hmmm.... what to say? The same stuff from last time. Still need to take some pictures, still doing good in school - except for one Kinesiology quiz that I totally tanked because my brain was too taken up with thinking about life changing decisions that I completely forgot to study. We start finals again next week. (see same stuff)

I WAS going to take some adorable pictures yesterday, but found my batteries dead. (I really could nearly swear that I JUST put in new batteries, too, hmmm weird) You see near my mom's house there is a little pasture with goats or sheep in it and they all have these tiny little babies that are so cute you can cry. I think they are goats, but since there is some argument amongst my family as to what they are, now I'm doubting myself. lol Their faces are sorta sheepy but I don't see that they have fleece... so I'm confused. Anyway, I'll get pictures of them soonish and you can all decide for yourself as to their genus and species. (all two of you that still read this - hahahaha)

So... wanna know what the heck was so disturbing that I could forget to study for a quiz? Well, here goes, so, it was a Wednesday night. I finally signed a certain paper that was supposed to get things pretty much rolling as to finalizing the divorce, and was met with. "So... what do you think about this, should we really do this or try again to work stuff out?" (Enter panic attack and mass confusion in my head) Yeah, I don't do so good with sudden direction changes out of the clear blue sky, so I cried for, oh probably a week. He's saying how he knows he was this and that and how neglected I was and lots of other stuff too personal to talk about out here in cyber space. There are loads of things he wants to work on, and all these ways he says he will reform, and help me and treat me the way I need etc etc... And of course I'm bawling like a wet baby for SO many reasons. I'm scared either way, honestly, scared to jump out into the world of single motherhood and such, and scared to chance staying. I sorta felt like I had to make a decision of YES or NO pretty fast, and I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. So I cried and fretted and had a stomach ache and called my therapist for an emergency consult. Ah man, I was a mess, until I figured out that I could say, "I can't decide this just based on the stuff you've said, so, I'm willing to give you time to make good on all the things you've said." What a relief that was! (then I tanked my quiz the same day - blah) So... that's were I am right now, taking it SO slow, which is pretty much opposite my personality, since I usually know exactly what I want and I go for it, but I'm not so much with the confidence right now. At least I can say I don't feel so scared.

So we went on a date on Saturday, and that's sorta where we are starting from. Being friends is easy, we've been that and we get along okay when there's no pressure or expectations and things like that. Now the expectations are coming back into play we'll see how it goes. I'm not jumping into anything before I know what is what. I think part of what had me reeling so much was that I had pretty much made peace with the thought that he never really wanted me the way a guy should want someone they marry - I certainly wasn't treated that way, and I bear some responsibility for letting that happen, obviously when you aren't being treated right you are supposed to say, "This isn't okay, I deserve better and I can find that somewhere else if you don't step up." That's where I should have been in the courtship phase. Instead, that's where I got much later - it's a good place to be when you are courting, but not so nice once you've been married 12 years. Anyway, so once he started talking to me about how much he loves me and wants to treat me how I deserve now and all that stuff, it was very confusing. In one way, it was nice to hear (finally) and in another way, I was thinking "why now?" Honestly, if you had asked me if reconciliation was an option, I would have laughed and said, "NO way!" I guess it's another lesson in: You just don't ever really know how you will react in any given situation until you are IN that situation. (how many times do I have to learn that?)

You want to know what my therapist said? lol - "Well the good thing about this is, you have his attention, and you can train him how to treat you." and "If you DO get through this and work it out, it's possible to be happier than you ever were." and "I prefer to err on the side of preserving the marriage." and "Guys are like puppies, you reward them for the good behavior and smack them on the nose when they are stupid." - I really love that guy, lol (in a healthy way of course - ha) - We'll see how it goes.

New Stuff

I guess it's been MUCH longer than I thought, which means I didn't take pictures of one of my other FO's. It's just another pair of wrist warmers, but it's something at least. I have at least one more pair "ordered" as requested by my youngest, (not to be left out) and one of my daughter's classmates has demanded a pair just like hers. Not sure she'll be getting those with that little attitude - lol

The socks are finished =) Yaaay!

We almost had an ice storm, it rained and froze for a few hours and then as it got dark it suddenly warmed up and it all melted. Which is a good thing of course, because you can't say ICE out loud around here without someone running off the road.

The moon has been really spectacular the last few nights, and last night I finally got a decent picture of it. If I hadn't been freezing I could have done better, but there'll be other moon pictures to come.


We just finished another Mod at school, so we start with a new teacher tomorrow. I did good on my finals, thankfully. I'm halfway done with school now, which seems very odd, but cool, too. Next Mod will be my last in Pathology and Kinesiology - which will be nice - but we start in Clinical, which is also pretty difficult. I'll be bracing myself for that eventuality.

Next time I should have at least one more FO and the low down on my new instructor. I'm sure this one won't upset my poor classmate like the last one. I thought I was going to have to restrain her for a minute yesterday. Poor guy, just can't keep his feet out of his mouth during a temper tantrum.

Talk to y'all later! =)

Silly Me!

Well, my new camera came with it's own cable, I just didn't take it out of the box. So my complaints were for naught. (except I still think it's stupid to have so many different shapes for USB plugs) That aside, I finally have pictures!

I discovered that the large drink cups from Chicken Express (that I like to get Dublin Dr. Pepper in) make really good hat drying apparatus things. (apparati?)

I made these for one of my class mates, she knows about them, but the hat that is done in the same yarn is a surprise, you can see it barely peeking out from between the other two hats above. It's my own pattern and once I figure out how to make the chart make sense, I'll either submit it to someone or publish it here for free. It's kinda a little different.

Here are the socks I've been working on for DS the 9 year old. I've gotten past the heel flap and gussets now, though, this picture was taken the day of my last post.... so there's been progress. The other stuff is in there just to show how great the colors show up *sigh* finally a camera I can take pictures of yarn with that shows the colors true.

That's the main reason I put all those hats in the same picture, they are all cool shades of blue and purple and they don't fight or mess with the colors of the others. (that was a problem I had with the other cameras)

Oh, and of course I had to share the latest greatest sunsent with y'all. One regular one zoomed.

Computer Problems and Stories

Well, bummer of all bummers, my computer seems to be giving me fits and won't let me access the pictures on the little SD card, and since there are hundreds of different shapes of USB cable ends, I can't do that either. WHY are there so many different little plug ins for cables that do exactly the same thing? I know the answer is so that you have to buy a different cable for every little thing in your life, but still, it's annoying.

So I took all these pictures with my new camera and can't even show ONE of them. *cry* And it's so cool because this camera actually shows the colors as they are. It doesn't turn all purple into blue and doesn't change the blues into other blues. The greens are right, the pinks are right, everything is right but my computer is being difficult. GRRR

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to tell stories instead of showing pictures. I actually have 3 FO's! (I'm frustrated, can you tell?)

So, the drama at school I mentioned half a month ago. We have a new instructor for this mod (5 weeks per mod, probably short for module) and he has been quite an adjustment. At least once or twice, sometimes more, per day he snaps and goes off on us. We were sort of getting used to it when he had the mother of all snaps all over me specifically. It was SO bad that by the end of his tirade I was glaring daggers at him to the point he had to look away. It was over something totally trivial, too, and I was accused of critiquing him, when what I said was only meant to be helpful. At any rate, I was so mad that later I started crying (which only made me more angry because now I appeared to be hurt instead of just mad and frustrated). THAT got everyone up in arms in my defense and these people went to the head instructor and started leaving notes for the director, and eventually I had to tell the director about it.

Strangely, after all that, even though this particular instructor still has his little fits here and there, now he acts like I'm his favorite student. (which confuses me, but ... oh well) Anyway, we have all sort of gotten used to each other just in time to switch to another instructor. (One we are pretty much already used to because she subbed for us once) Anyway, things were pretty tense there for a couple of days, and several of the students were trying to get out of his class, which isn't really an option. The funny thing is, one of the other students, the one I usually sit with, had been stressing big time about the disorganization and other irritating things, and I was saying, "Give him the benefit of the doubt... etc etc" and then he went off on me, not even knowing I was one of his few advocates. (that sorta changed a bit) lol

It's hard to believe that after this mod, I'll be half-way through school. Goes fast! I'm now sorta starting to stress about whether I can get a job that pays enough to pay the mortgage and utilities. I suppose it'll all work out in the end. ACK!

Now, the story of the camera. Most of you know, that the last time I was in the hospital with my third nervous breakdown or whatever you want to call it, a cleaning frenzy of great magnitude descended on my house and rearranged everything and cut half of my trees' branches off, moved my plants and lost my camera. Not that I'm not thankful for the help... just... well that's in the past. Anyway, the camera. So we've also had several shingles blown off in various hail storms and such, which finally got claimed on our insurance. I was told that if we had any extra after the work was done I might get a new camera out it. (bear in mind this is the same person I'm in the final stages of getting divorced from) The controlling issues are still there, which meant I had no say in which camera I got... but that's another story. (story of my life, really, like when I said I wanted an iPod and got a 3 pound RCA thing that never worked, but again I digress) So I was presented with a new camera about a month ago. It's super nice, still auto focus, but... hey it's better than what I was using before, even the lost one. (and it's being called 'my' camera, so I'll probably get to keep it when the parting of the ways happens)

The situation is very odd, here. I've been trying to extricate myself from this relationship for quite some time, and just didn't get taken seriously. In retrospect, I should have just packed up my kids and left about 3 years ago, before I got so stressed that I fell off the deep end repeatedly. But that's the thing about retrospect, it doesn't really do you any good. Of course, the fact that I did have a breaking point was being used against me and I knew it from the beginning. Which is why I knew I'd have to bide my time and get balanced and whatnot before I would be taken seriously. Well, I bid my time too long, and broke yet again, but this time I was very adamant that I had to get out of this marriage. I still wasn't being taken very seriously, and my breaking of course was held over my head as a weapon to remove me from my children. I was told I was going to have to leave and that I would be set up with "a little apartment" and I could keep the kids as much as I wanted (babysit) until he got home from work, but they just couldn't live with me. Naturally this flies in the face of all reason, if I can "babysit" them till all hours, I clearly can live with them. Of course I refused such an arrangement and didn't leave. That was back in the Spring.

Summer, Autumn, Winter have come and gone (of course, Winter is still here). The tones have calmed down, the threats have subsided, and there is now a completely different plan in the works. It's obvious now, that yes, I am still a good mother, and yes, I am still doing everything plus going to school, and yes, I would fight for my kids and probably win. So the fight has been taken off the table and more congenial terms are in place. So hopefully, things will continue to improve.

I should mention that I have left out lots of the details about both of us, and rightly so. I don't want to paint myself as a saint, because that's far from true. I did what I had to do to get out and be taken seriously about having to get out. I'm dealing with the consequences of that, but I'm not 100% sure I'd do it different if I could. Except for the getting out three years ago and preserving my sanity a bit more.

That's too sad a note to be the end. It's not easy to admit my failings, but I felt it was necessary for some reason. The candour thing, I suppose.

It's been a pretty icky year in some ways, but I've learned a great deal about myself about others and about forgiveness. In spite of all the troubles of this year, somehow we've managed to preserve a working relationship and some respect for each other. I guess that's how it works when you still have to live in the same house while going through all these different changes. I don't really do New Year's resolutions, but I do plan to do some things very differently. It's going to be a good year! If I say that enough times, it will be true, right? =)

Good bye 2008 - It's been real


hopefully the computer will start acting right pretty soon

Stay Tuned

Guess what? I finally got a new camera. Shock of all shockers. I'm in such a strange situation. Anyway, I don't have proof as of yet - picture wise, well I do, I just didn't upload them yet and I want my first new camera pictures that y'all see to be KNITTING.

Just wanted to give all of you something to read here in the meantime. There has been some serious drama at school. (ah transitions, don't we love 'em?)

It's freezing butt cold here for a couple of days at least. No ice on my street, but between me and school - a LOT, so... tomorrow could be interesting.

What else? Grades still good - but we, as a class, are a bit behind. That's a little part of the drama, but we'll be ok. I'll go into a little more detail later - no names of course in case anyone from there stumbles into our knitting subculture. =)

I have a couple more sky pics to share, and maybe some art. I'm still conflicted about putting it up here sometimes in case it gets stolen and used or something. Not that many people come over here anymore, so it's probably safe =)

Well, it's quickly getting towards bedtime and I'd better put the spaghetti away. I'll be back soon with proof of the new camera, and some odd stories. (as always)

Take care be safe and all that jazz.

Knitting Content - But WAIT there's MORE

Holy blog abandonment Bat Man! I haven't posted since November 21st? FOR shame. I have loads of excuses of course, but why bother about the past?

I got nice grades on all my finals, upper 90's for all the grades at the end of the mod, so ME HAPPY. I think I still have the 4.0 (heheheheheee) How pissed am I going to be if I lose that? lol (repeat after me - chill out chill out chill out)

We actually did Stress Management today in class. I didn't bring up rehab but I did say psychotic snap once =)*) -- Hey it happens, why pretend otherwise? No point being ashamed of something you have absolutely no control over. Which was pretty much the theme of Stress Management, naturally. I think I need to exercise more though. I KNOW I do.

ok off topic - get back on track

SO... KNITTING! Yes I have been doing it, even though there has been little proof around here. I guess I did the knitting instead of talking about it, I don't always have the window of opportunity for both.

Here's the evidence:

I think this pic is squished a little

One, ONE new scarf AH HA HA

Two TWO skeins of Baby Alpaca

Eight, EIGHT feet eight inches long AH HA HA HHHAAA!
(nearly 3 meters!)

I was needing something more mindless than a sock on tiny needles. Plus, even though I have made lots of scarves, I don't really like very many of them. Mostly because my main scarf knitting time was back in the beginning before I knew God created better yarn than acrylic. I have one skinny scarf I like, but it's not SO great when it's super cold. The only thing I would have liked better is if I had some ridiculously long (46" circ) bamboo instead of the addi turbos. I love the addis, don't get me wrong, it's just that this yarn is super slippery and I had a little trouble at first dropping stitches here and there. So I ripped it back and started over, and made it a few stitches longer, putting it at about 305 stitches on a 10.5 46" circ. YEAH baby!

Once my loverly new scarf was done, I finished the sock. So my oldest has one new sock and another one on the way.


As you see, I ran out of the green and had to use some navy blue on the toe. If I had been thinking and paying attention, I could have used it on the heel, too, but that's okay, it'll never show in shoes. He likes it anyway. I was planning these to be dress socks, but he wants them to be play socks, which means I could have made them less tall, since he's used to the ankle kind. Oh well, they'll be good for cold school days anyway.

Aside from the knitting, I've been taking lots and lots of sky pictures. We have had a major amount of awesome sunrises and sunsets lately. I even got a couple of decently unblurry moon shots with this dinky camera. Most of the pictures are from my camera phone - which can be a challenge, but I'm getting better. I'll try to whittle it down a bit, since there are loads of them. So breath deep, center yourself and enjoy =)

the dinky camera