Monday, January 11, 2016

Bad Habits Resurface

Days and days without posting. Days without knitting, actually. At least I finished the WIP! This one, is bigger, which I figured, since the yarn is slightly more bulky and I used larger needles. I guess I didn't realize quite how much bigger it would be. (Especially considering the fact that the baby isn't even born yet) It looks to be about a 2T, if memory serves.

I've been in a bit of a strange head space the last week or two. I don’t know how many creative types go through a period of weirdness right before a creative breakthrough or not, but I do. Any breakthrough, creative or otherwise, I experience is proceeded by a period of what I call, “staring at the wall”. I don’t really know what is going on in my brain during that time for sure, but I can only describe it as feeling like my subconscious is working out a problem that I am not privy to

It’s an odd feeling. I can’t focus on complicated things. I function mostly normally, but go quiet. For most people that know me well, quiet isn’t usually a word used to describe me. The thing is, over the last few years I’ve been described that way more and more. I don’t know if it’s good, bad or indifferent, it just is. Even now, trying to write a simple blog post, I can see the inconsistency and rambling nature of my thoughts in black and white. Still, I have to put something down, something I can point to and say, “I did do something. I DID start on the thing I was trying to work out.”
The thing is, I’ve been feeling the call of the arts. But they are all calling at once. I want to take amazing photographs while painting an abstract in oils and knit miles of self striping yarn as I write my book. Focus focus focus – I have it, I don’t have it, I have it, I don’t – It’s all the same. I’m focused on them all without being able to do any of it. Oh yeah, I want to figure out how to make bread. Really really good chewy bread with giant holes that rises the way it’s supposed to and make a sandwich. (for the record, I’ve been making bread a long time, and much more lately, but I’m not happy with my results yet)
On the plus side, I've become a veritable sourdough lord of the yeasts, so all my bread tastes marvelous. (Gentlemen Broncos reference) My biggest problem is getting the risen bread not to collapse once it starts baking, or to rise at all after the punch-down. So far, my best success has been with a very simple Ciabatta recipe that my sister sent me. No kneading, it rises in the oven all night and then you shape it into a loaf and start baking it in a cold oven at 400. So far, I have 2 successes and 1 failure. 2 more rising now for tries 4 and 5.

As for my book ideas... I have several stories bouncing around in my head. When I sit down to write them, they jumble up. So, I think I'll start with collecting my random poetry.