When I set my intention to start blogging again, I never expected my next post to be in 2020 instead of a month or two later in 2017. Yet, here we are in April of 2020, the world is dealing with the 2020 version of The Plague. We, as the human race, seem to be going through a similar Renaissance or Awakening. The fact that the waters of Venice are clear and there are dolphins in them, are eye opening to me! I did not know that was ever a thing, but it definitely is a thing. Someone out there knew that and totally did not tell me.
It's been so long since I used this laptop I barely remember how to type. (well.... that's a tiny exaggeration) I am grateful to the 1st ex for restoring it to its near former glory. The screen is broken a bit, from kids knocking it over back 8 years or so ago. It's a dinosaur of sorts now, I don't recall what year I got it, but it's definitely ancient by the standard of technology. The battery has been replaced, by one that still doesn't work right, and the data that it holds was so compromised it was almost impossible to recover. Thankfully, having a decent relationship with the baby daddy is rewarded handsomely with tech support.
The second ex did not fair so well. Well... I should say, I did not fair so well. If there's a better phrase than "out of the frying pan into the fire" I will have to make it up. How about, "Out of the soup into the vapors and heat of an active volcano." That sums it up.
If you ever think you can't make a worse choice in any situation, you are all the way wrong. It can always, always get worse. Literally, figuratively, physically and spiritually, it got worse. Seriously, always, it can get worse.
I've dated here and there, mildly (though my children might not agree with mildly) and it can get worse again, I've learned. Not that the 2 people I dated (semi-seriously) were both worse people than my second ex-husband, just the situations they were in and I how would've faired with them, can be worse. I will not tempt fate by saying the second ex is the worst man on the planet, but it is nearly true. The rumors he has spread far and wide about me are nearly funny, as to just how inaccurate they are. So I laugh. What's worse that bullshit? Cat shit? No, I like cats. Chicken shit, is useful, so that doesn't apply. He's full of... his own shit, yeah.
For the record, the 3rd person I dated is not worse and neither is the situation. It was/is rather nice, actually, but that's where I go Clandestine in this post. Neither of us know where it's going and that's quite alright with me.
I'm knitting again! My brain chemicals are working again, my kids are doing well. Although they are as stressed about on homeschooling as the rest of the country's children. They are very social, so this thing really hurts for them. As an omnivert, myself, I can take it or leave it when it comes to mixing with people that are physically present. I didn't do so well with isolation, when I was a teenager, though, so it's nowhere near the same fairness.
Having been isolated from our support system while suffering incessant mental, emotional and spiritual abuse while trapped within the confines of the property, was rather our entire existence from 2014 - September 2018. The kids did, most of that time, have school to go to, and that was how they survived. I almost didn't make it. By the time I left, I was bleeding out from my uterus (for 6 t0 9 weeks at a time) and couldn't breathe from severe asthma and bronchitis. Choking the life out of a person by oppression is just as deadly as putting your hands around their throat. Bleeding from sadness and loss of the will to live can make one have, 'Severe Anemia with Thrombosis." That was my actual diagnosis. I got a blood clot a couple of months after I left, did not have insurance but dealt with as well as I could.
Did you know that once you are so anemic you can barely move, that you no longer absorb anything? It's logical, yes, but I didn't know it until it happened to me. Water doesn't stay in your body, you have no ability to absorb nutrition, you can't get any thing from breathing, not that I could breathe, either, but if I could, it didn't do much good. I'm very surprised that I wasn't blue. It was rough.
A year and seven months later, things are way better. No one wants me dead, and though the rumors are still flying, I really don't care. Truly, people are always gonna think what they want and that's none of my business. I will say, that the stuff that particular ex says, are more likely to apply to him, than they are to me. Transference is a thing and will always be a thing and he is a thing. *shudder* His new, future victim, is 100% snowed with his ability to charm, is all the way convinced that I am what he says. Ironically she started liking FB photos, him and I, that he was tagged in, from our marriage. (what?) Oy... poor unfortunate soul. I hope somehow she and her young daughter fare better than my daughter and I did. My daughter is still .... well, she was more damaged that I. Let's leave it at that. *sigh*
New Subject, Anyone?
Oh, yeah. Knitting. I'm Knitting teacup warmers / hand protector things. My sister's teacups are slightly smaller than mine, so I'm doing two sizes and will post the pattern in the next post. This opost is too many words and subjects - 😩
It's a super easy pattern and will be super free, supah freeeeeeeaky baby, so why don't ya .... knit me? I dunno.
I'm BAAACK baby, and let's see if I can last!
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