Do you ever just feel the need to talk to someone and not know who it is you should talk to? That's how I feel today, like if I just had someone to talk to, I'd feel better. Don't get me wrong, I'm not down in the depths of despair, the way I was a few weeks ago. Man, I hope I NEVER go there again, that was SO hard. I felt oddly ok today, but without any drive to DO anything. I hate those days, but at least this time, MOST of the laundry is done. I did knit a little bit, while watching "The Greatest Game Ever Played" or whatever it's called. I really liked it, even though I have no interest in golf. Why is it that the movies about golf are so much more exciting than watching it? So weird.
So here I am, wishing I had someone to talk to and I'm talking to scores of people. (all 15 of my subscribers! lol) maybe there are a few more. Only problem is, that, as much as I love blogging and talking, I really like listening, too, and that is not so much the thing you get from blogging. There is an exchange of sorts, but it's just not quite the same, is it? Blogging today feels a little bit like shouting into a windstorm. Lots of effort going out but no one can hear you. What am I shouting? I don't know, maybe it's just a long loud scream, which would only come across as a whisper. Reaching out into the dark, knowing that no one is there to take your hand. (thinking about spiders)
That sounds a lot more depressing than it really is, I'm not shy about admitting depression. I know I have it sometimes. I don't really feel depressed, I think the problem is that I am feeling NOTHING today, which bothers me. I should know by now that those days are usually those processing days, when so much is going on subconsciously that the conscious gets a little bit scrambled. Anyway, feeling nothing doesn't feel good, that's for sure, which is why I was really glad when I finally cried today. (Thanks GC, if you're reading this, you helped me today)
Well, I guess I'll go back to my processing or whatever it is =) Thanks for listening, everyone.