How sad is it that it has been SO long that I've posted anything here that I actually forgot my password. Honestly, I don't even remember changing it in the first place. I must have changed it in my sleep or something, because I have NO clue what I changed it to. SAD SAD SAD
At any rate. I haven't done much knitting since I churned out 5 of those headbands in a week. Not sure why, but I really enjoyed that pattern. I changed it up ever time I made it, too. I did one for each little girl in the family and 2 for a baby girl (grandbaby) of one of my favorite buds.
I really thought that I'd be working on some sort of red lace something or other by now. That's the problem with getting really excited about doing something and then not being able to start it during the initial motivation period. (since I had to wait and wait for the yarn to arrive) Once the yarn finally came and I got it all wound into pretty little cakes, I hit a rough spot. The anniversary of the date my dad died cropped up and bit me in the arse and that really sucked.
My problem is, that when some huge horrible thing happens, I completely shut down and go straight into shock. So I just muddle through feeling nothing for between 1 and 3 years, then it all hails down on me all at once. My biggest problem is the personality trait of always wanting to know the why and how and what the HELL of any given issue. In many cases however, there are only facts and figures without a why or how or what the hell, that adds up to anything other than: alcohol and guns don't mix - and depression makes for really stupid choices sometimes - and sometimes things really suck and "live isn't fair, and anyone who tells you differently is selling something"
I know I KNOW, there I go again, making a joke through the tears of reality, laughing at stuff that isn't funny. That's me.
It really doesn't matter why or how it happened, it still really makes me angry. I don't care if he didn't know what he was doing it still pisses me off.
Of course what all of this really boils down to is - I need to be knitting so I can knit and purl my way through it. (non knitters, just so you know, it actually works, so don't point and laugh - okay?)
I'm actually more OK than I sound, sometimes you just hafta vent before the knitting can commence.