Thursday, September 27, 2007

Evidence That I Still Knit

Exhibit A - One nearly complete pair of socks

Well, there's no Exhibit B, so this will have to do. I have pretty much always been a one project knitter, and I guess that hasn't changed. Hey there's one thing about me that is the same. I know it's weird in the knitting community not to have dozens of projects on the needles at once, but the reality of that just stresses me out. (not sure why)

I'm getting in the habit of avoiding things that stress me out, for obvious reasons. lol None of us in here or out there need any sort of repeat of the events in the Spring (or those of the Winter for that matter) HEY! I got through a whole SEASON without freaking out (or whatever they call it in the professional community) I called it spinning out before, that's a pretty good description. Every day I think about some aspect of that process and wonder.... "Why did I think I was ok?" Funny how that works. When you are, well, I should say, when I am, in the throes or grip of the spinning, I feel fine. I think that's what makes it scary because I can't tell I'm off, even though everyone else can. A few days before I totally hit the fan, someone had told my husband to get me help like NOW. (I bet he wishes he had)

At least now, I don't feel ok, I do feel off, and I am aware of the weirdness within. (for lack of a better explanation) I shouldn't say, I don't feel ok, I am feeling better than I have. I can just tell I'm no where near finished healing. I can tell because I'm still really tired and I still need more sleep than I can get in 8 hours at night. My motivation is low, but I can manage the basics. Even the basics were a great challenge when I was really low. I'm back to auto pilot on most of the basics, which feels better. My sister suggested something helpful yesterday. Basically, just write down one or two things you want to accomplish that day, and then when you do them, you can see what you accomplished. I didn't write it down yet, but I did do the 2 things I was wanting to accomplish, so that feels better, anyway.

And now, I have a little less than an hour before the house starts to fill up grade schoolers. All three of them, I bring home my niece on Thursdays to play with my daughter. SO... I'm going to catch a little cat nap in preparation =)

4 comments:

AmyP said...

Love how the socks are coming on. How are "coping" with the spiralling of the colour (sorry color!)?
I think it's a case of the old cliche of one day at a time. I know that helps me, because even when I'm "down" I know it won't last (it's usually 3 days for me!)
Good luck with the kiddlywinks (the children)

Isabelle aka Tricotine said...

You know what? I am having a little Knitting blank currently... I haven't touched yarn in about a week now. I hope it won't last. This is just so not me! But I simply don't feel like it... I need to finish those Monkeys for the swap though...

Not really feeling myslef these days...

Jumping in a coldly lake from a cliff sounds actually pretty appealing right now... litterally! ;-)

Maybe I am just bored... looking for some out-of-routine excitement... (?)

Love and {{{HUGS}}}

Tracy said...

Hi, April.
I have to agree with amyp...one day at a time...Thinking good thoughts and sending them to you...BTW: Great looking socks.

lobstah said...

Heh heh heh...I'm usually a one-project woman too! I can't remember what I was doing on a project if I put it down too long!

I must be feeling crazy though because right now I have TWO projects on the needles and I'm about to have THREE! If you hear shrieks of despair, you'll know from whence they came!