Friday, February 1, 2008

Nada Nada Pescada

Spanish for "Nothing, nothing, fish" - It just rhymes so people say it when someone says, "Hey Baby, que paso?" I have been cleaning, in a paced and very methodical way, which is very different from the cleaning of past April. Cleaning Frenzy is what I usually do, and then everyone scampers for cover and can never find anything ever again. I don't know which method is really better. I've been cleaning for days, like three days. This place is... well it's, I don't want to admit what it is, a heaping pile of rotting something. Not quite that bad, but that's how I feel about it. We all know I haven't been on my game for, oh how long now?, for freaking ever? Too long. Nothing like out of towners coming in to motivate a person, though, so I'm doing my 1st Annual Spring Cleaning in Dang January. It's 1AM now, and I'm wound up from the Cleaning Marathon. (Hey, new term!)

Generally, I'm fairly even, not too easily shaken, etc, but there is something about cleaning that just winds me up. I think it has something to do with the fact cleaning was used as punishment when I was a kid, so it's like memory association, fuming/cleaning, something. I've probably mentioned that before. This time though, I think it has been really less about the past and more about the present and how every single person here leaves mess in their wake and they are not much for helping with the disaster that ensues. I understand it from children, and I can get them to do their part when the time comes. One way or a chocolate bar, I can get them to cooperate. But when grown people wander around and mess up things left and right and then just leave it, I start to get pissy. Not after the first day, or even the second day, my patience runeth over and now it's going to be acid on someones head grrrrrr. Toss things here, toss things there leave them there for 3 years and then expect me to know where they are. How does that work? I love that commercial where the engaged couple are talking about what to do with the guy's stuff, and the girl has a vision of a flame thrower and the choir music is playing. I've had that vision a few times, but it would have to be Metallica, instead. There's more rant in here, but I'll spare you. This is sufficiently horrifying for now.

Any, so I've been cleaning all day for 3 days, and I still have a good 3 days worth left. Most of that is sorting through the mountains of paper and clutter that one accumulates when people go around throwing stuff all over the place. I only have half of ONE day left, so I'm really having to get creative in this process. I have to mention that I am SO blessed to have an 8yr old boy who dearly LOVES to vacuum the stairs, (where did HE come from?) because I seriously HAYTE it! I don't love dusting either, mainly because I'm SO allergic to it, but I discovered today that I can do most of that with my vacuum, too. (slow learner, I know, give me a break) (I think I must be talking to the voices of my parents that rattle around in my head, I really wish they would shut up sometimes) what was I talking about? Oh yeah, dust, sucked up into the vacuum and not into my sneeze machine. wooo hoooo! Score one for ME!

So here I am blogging in the wee small hours trying to wind down, so that when I get back in bed and the snoring starts somewhere too close to my ear, the urge to kick is sufficiently gone. I really need the basketball, MAN, or something. This the feeling, that feeling I get, it's pent up stuff. I've been advised to find some sort of activity where I can just smash the heck out of something, like the racquetball, or whatever. I need it NOW, but I can't just run out and do that in the mid of the night =( A punching bag, the big kind would do, but where would I put that thing? My house is so weak it'd probably fall down if I hung one of those somewhere in it.

It's not all, bad, of course, I'm reclaiming my house, that's a good thing. Even with lots left to do, SO much has already been done, I feel lots better already. I did get to break some old printers, that made me feel good, too. OK, can you stand more ranting? It's okay if you can't, just run away now. Here's a stupid story:

For some very odd reason, people give stuff to my husband. I don't know if he just looks needy (not likely) or if he's just that rude that he asks them for stuff? No clue, but, he comes home with printers, like STONE AGE printers, old crap computers, big giant cd changers from like the first year they made them, and the biggest TV I've ever seen, and SO DANG OLD, it's BUGLY. WHA? and WHY GOD WHY? Plus, he buys printers, and computers and .... gosh you get it by now, right? So we have 4 lame broken printers from who know where, 2 on the shelf that we bought, that have been out of ink SO long they can't seem to ever print again. (I didn't know they did that, but WHATEVER) So he's shopping for a printer again, (very quietly, b/c I had no idea) and says his normal, "What do think about the deal on this printer with these features.... blah blah blah." I'm like, "Dude, I SO don't care, don't talk to me about printers unless you get rid of all these stupid other printers before I throw them in the street." He laughs, cuz he's stupid that way, "Yeah, those things are worthless, anyway, I'll get rid of them." Did he? NOPE, so I did, yesterday?, no it was the day before, so that's... Wednesday. There is NOTHING so freeing as carrying some heavy plastic and metal piece of JUNK and I mean crap, and throwing as hard as you can into a trash can sitting on concrete. It was GLORIOUS. It gets better... heheheheheeeee So all these printers are in the trash can, the rolling plastic kind you take to the street. Anyway, since our garage is also a dumping ground of all manner of monstrous boxes of random junk from the back of his truck, we can no longer fit the trash and recycle carts in it. They live at the top of a VERY steep drive way on just the other side of the garage door. So, when he came home that night and shut the garage door, it slammed on the top of the bin and the thing vomited printers all down our driveway in the COLD COLD wind and dark. He was SO irritated. Too bad he didn't throw them away RIGHT when he had the chance. When he angrily told me the story, I laughed. Yeah, I laughed, because I'm stupid that way. GLORIOUS


Dreams of Yarn said...

sounds like your on a roll!! I've been feeling the itch for a real good clean out around here too. I hope you are pleased at the end of it all and you get rid of all the t.v's and printers and junk that are cluttering your thought space. Thats what I tell DH all the time... how can It think with all this crap polluting my thought space? Cause I'm crazy that way :)

Robin said...! You go girl, I seriously need to do it...but I'm allergic to cleaning!!

Chris said...

My husband too is a pack rat--old cars and old car memoribilia. I don't clean his office--that is his job--so it never gets done. He also collects old car models--chryslers--desotos--hudsons. They have started pouring into the living room--ah well. Don't sweat the small stuff I tell myself-I am grateful he is in my life--he is really good to me. Just a story--after my divorce I used to clean my kids rooms when they went with their dad for the weekend. My son's room was the worst--dried up sandwiches--glasses with hard milk in the bottom --etc. And I cried while doing it. But by doing it when they weren't home I didn't yell at them--so it was better that way. And life goes on. I hate to clean--trying to do a little myself this morning. Have a great day and enjoy your out of town guests.

dyedinthewool said...

Oh dear - poor you and poor house! My dad's the same about hoarding and collecting, and with computers as well!

Tracy said...

Sounds like you needed to purge, in more ways than one. I understand completely. Hope it helped.